Family finds miracles abound
Published: April 25, 2007
Michelle and Jamie Gray, childhood sweethearts married for 10 years, are both only 33 years old but have already had to make a lifetime’s worth of heart-wrenching decisions.
First, in January 2004, they had to decide whether doctors should continue trying to save their son, born at home at 1 lb. 11 ounces after 23 weeks of pregnancy, just on the cusp of viability. Doctors said if the boy survived by some miracle, he likely would have any of a host of disabilities, including severe mental retardation, cerebral palsy or paralysis.
Then, in the winter of 2006, the Grays, expecting twins, lost one at 16 weeks gestation and had to decide whether to let doctors terminate the other twin because Michelle’s body was in active labor and it seemed certain the surviving twin would be born too soon to live. Waiting meant an increased risk of infection to Michelle.
In both cases, the Grays gave Mother Nature a chance and today they thank God that they did.
Mom, Dad, Zachary, 3, and Hannah, 14 months, on April 29 will serve as an ambassador family for the New Haven area in WalkAmerica, the March of Dimes fundraiser being held throughout the country.
The Grays have participated in the walk since Zachary was born, going it without him that first year because he was in the hospital. Last year, they walked with Zachary and a friend, Tate, also born premature. They called themselves the Miracle Men.
This year, Hannah will join them on their newly-named team, “Three Miracles and an Angel,” after Hannah’s twin, Angel, a boy. To find out more or donate to the team, log onto: www.walkamerica.org/zachHannah.
Today Zachary, 3, is a thriving preschool student. He was deaf in both ears, but that was corrected before age 2 with cochlear implants. Jamie Gray, a computer software manager, believes the hearing loss was caused by all the antibiotics Zachary was given for infection.
“I believe everything happens for a reason,” Michelle Gray said. “Maybe he’s supposed to be here to touch the lives of other people. … He’s a blessing to us.”
Hannah also defied the odds and stayed put in her mom’s womb for eight weeks longer than Angel. Although a miracle in that she wasn’t born right after Angel, Hannah was born at 24 weeks weighing 1 lb. 8 ounces and didn’t have Zach’s complications.
Today she’s a plump 14 month old with a few expected developmental delays, and like most kids her age, a penchant for throwing items from her high chair tray for adults to retrieve.
Jamie Gray forged a special bond with his son before they even got to the hospital. Luckily, he had stayed home with his wife the day of Zachary’s birth because she didn’t feel well. So when she gave birth in the bathroom, Jamie Gray was there to hold the baby, who was breathing on his own. Dad said he looked at his son’s closed eyes and Zachary connected with him through a wimper.
On the way to the hospital, the boy stopped breathing in the ambulance when they reached the Q-bridge and his condition declined steadily at the hospital. A few hours into working on the baby, doctors told the Grays the bad news: The child was in critical condition with what they would learn was only a 23 percent chance of survival.
Then, from the doctors, came the most difficult question the Grays have ever faced: Did they want the hospital to just let the baby go or continue life-saving efforts likely to be futile?
Once they got over the shock, their answer rolled easily.
Michelle Gray told doctors she wanted to give her son a chance to keep fighting, although she wondered if it was fair to him.
Jamie Gray couldn’t shake the powerful connection he had with Zachary, a name he chose over the name that was intended because it sounded strong.
“I want my son,” Jamie Gray told doctors. “I knew when I held him and he gave me a little cry, that he was going to be OK.”
There were months of hospitalization, complications and close calls to follow. Among the toughest were severe infections that nearly took his life.
In those early times, he fought a brain hemorrhage, fluid on the brain and a double hernia requiring surgery, and had a respirator to assist with breathing.
The Grays decided they could never go through such an agonizing ordeal again, and when they brought Zachary home with oxygen and a slew of medications, figured he’d be their only child. But 18 months passed and he was such a joy, they decided they wanted another.
But first they consulted a doctor at Yale-New Haven Hospital’s high risk pregnancy department.
Everything checked out fine and doctors, still not sure why Zach was premature, believed the chance for complications were slim.
A few months later, the Grays learned they were having twins. Then Michelle’s water broke at 16 weeks. Angel was born and doctors told her the other twin was sure to follow and couldn’t survive. They suggested termination, but the Grays decided to go for another miracle instead.
Michelle remained in the hospital for two weeks, and as if by a miracle, her labor pains disappeared. She then went home and remained on bed rest for eight weeks.
Hannah didn’t wait as long as they hoped, but it was long enough.
The Grays don’t plan on having any more children.
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