Tale of a train, a homeless man and acts of charity
Published: February 9, 2007
Modeling, modeling, modeling.
We talk about it and hope it works. If we say our please and thank yous in public, we hope our children will learn. If we are kind, open doors, write our thank-you notes, ask before we grab, talk before we hit, etc., etc., etc., we hope that our kids will internalize these essential life lessons. Often, it is months or even years before we see the fruits of our labors.
Sometimes, however, we get lucky. We do something right, and watch others follow. I heard recently of an example which I share here. And it is not even about parenting. It is about the power of example, even for oldtimers who can still be moved by an act of kindness. And to go one step further, the following example did not happen in small-town America, but in big city New York, where people, so we think, keep their noses down and have the well-publicized tough exterior that serves to intimidate, protect and isolate.
Well, this is an unexpected story of modeling told to me by a longtime, diehard New Yorker, and one of my dearest friends. She has a heart of gold, but will not, out of loyalty to her beloved city, give up one shred of her hard-fought and won New York cynicism. But even she told this story with a rather lighthearted sense of surprise that characterized this incident.
It seems that she was on the subway, late at night, with a half-full car of equally weary passengers. The car was rather quiet as individual stories were coming to an end, and this silence was punctuated by a homeless individual whose personality and need for a hot meal allowed for a colorful beg as he tried to get coins in a cup. Now, New Yorkers are inundated with beggars of all kinds, from the destitute to downright scam artists. They are also so satiated with the sounds of clinking cups that they are rarely moved to give beyond what they individually would give anyway.
But this particular individual, with his late-night optimism, caught my friend’s attention. He asked for money for something to eat and remarked that he would not be offended by someone who might feel like taking him off the train to get him a meal. My friend found herself listening to this man and, feeling moved, reached into her pocket to pull out a single. She found that she had a half-dozen or so singles, and began putting them into his cup.
“Glory Me!” the gentleman shouted, as he got down on his knee and requested her hand in marriage. She looked at his hopeful eyes and responded, “It’s not that I’m rich or anything; it just occurs to me that you could use this more than me.” To my friend’s great surprise, many of the passengers on the subway car started to get up and put money in this gentleman’s cup. And as she recounted the experience, she said, “And I’m not talking about loose change. I’m talking about dollar bills!” I’m not sure who was more affected by the experience that night, my friend or the beggar. Maybe even someone else on that train.
So be careful what you do. It just could be modeled.
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