Author rethinks prayer for most any situation
Published: October 5, 2006
There are as many reasons to pray as there are people on Earth. Whether it’s a simple thank you at mealtime or an urgent request (”Dear Lord, please helpeth this Imodium AD to worketh swiftly,”) many people turn to prayer almost naturally. For some, however, there is the inevitable gap between traditional prayer and contemporary life.
In her book “Simple Prayers for Complicated Lives” (Seabury Books, 2006), Jennifer Phillips aims to bridge that gap.
“I heard a lot of otherwise articulate people finding it really difficult to come up with ways of praying,” she said. “Especially in tough situations in their lives. … The prayer books of churches, Episcopal and otherwise, don’t offer a lot of resources for (situations like) women going through reproductive issues, adoption, losses, changes with aging, etc.”
By addressing both simple frustrations and major adversities, Phillips set out to give traditional prayer a modern touch. She offers everything from somber prayers for those in military service to a lighthearted Internet prayer (”From spam, pop-ups, and promotions, from cyber porn, and bogus addresses, deliver us, Good Lord”).
“I got the feeling that there are a fair number of prayer books that are now getting old,” she said. “There is a constant need for contemporary materials for people to use as well as traditional ones.”
According to Father Donal Sella, the pastor at Our Lady of Lourdes Church in Paterson, the importance of tradition should not be overlooked, as it often serves as the backbone of one’s faith.
“Tradition is very comforting,” he said. “I think that’s why we all love Thanksgiving … it’s comforting, it’s well-known. It makes you feel like a part of something that’s been around for a long time.”
For Pearl Korenblit, an Orthodox Jew who is the daughter of a Holocaust survivor, traditional prayer has always been a significant part of her life. But as a wife and mother of five with a demanding career in medicine, she felt the quality of her prayers beginning to slip.
“I always prayed, but I didn’t always have time to focus. I mean really focus,” said the 52-year-old Passaic resident.
Her journey back to more meaningful and fulfilling prayers began where so many others do — at a rest stop on the New Jersey Turnpike. After her car broke down last March, Korenblit avoided the chilly winds inside a rest area while waiting for a mechanic. When she walked out, she missed a step and injured her foot so badly she couldn’t walk on it.
“I just thought, ‘Gee, I’ll be better in a couple days,’” she said. “I originally thought, torn ligaments. After two months, I found out it was a fracture.”
With her injured foot in a walking cast, Korenblit’s 12-hour days as director of medicine for a Manhattan hospital were put on hold. Suddenly, the questions poured in: Would she be able to one day return to work in Manhattan? Should she? Should she look for work closer to home? As the breadwinner for her family, she felt the pressure mounting. It was then that she decided to really concentrate on prayer.
“How do you decide what you want?” she said. “You just really pray that you get some clarity. It’s almost like dating. You can’t pray for the best possible job; you have to search for it and network. You pray for guidance.”
Father Sella couldn’t agree more.
“I think most people believe that prayer is giving God advice,” he said. “I think most people save prayer until they’re absolutely desperate, then they turn to God and say, ‘This is what you should do.’”
In her book, Phillips also made a point of addressing the simple pleasures of modern life that are sometimes overlooked. She noticed that there weren’t “that many prayers of tradition to lift up life’s little moments of joy.” With that in mind, prayers for the joy of maintaining a house, for getting dressed and for wrapping a gift were also penned.
Shahanaz Arjumand of Teaneck takes those moments throughout the day to show her appreciation. Throughout her 10-year career in health-care administration, Arjumand has seen people rely on their faith as their health faded.
“I feel prayers are important, I do,” she said. “But more than prayers, I think just being grateful for everything you have. I don’t see prayers as something that you’re constantly seeking something, but you’re appreciating … some of the basic things we neglect or take for granted. Just to appreciate our health is quite significant.”
Korenblit knows this all too well. Throughout her five pregnancies, all of which were considered risky because she was over 35, she turned to prayer.
“When you’re pregnant, you pray for two reasons. One, you pray for a healthy baby. And two, you pray that you’ll be a worthy mother,” she said.
But what happens when the health of your baby is under question? Is prayer enough?
During her first pregnancy, Korenblit was experiencing low alpha-fetoprotein levels, sometimes associated with chromosomal abnormalities such as Down syndrome. Her doctors urged her to undergo amniocentesis, a procedure that takes a sample of amniotic fluid from the mother’s womb to test for such abnormalities. The test is not routinely offered because it carries a small risk of miscarriage, depending on the mother’s age. Korenblit declined.
“I decided not to (undergo the procedure) because I said I would rather spend that time praying than risk losing the baby,” she said. “I wouldn’t have aborted if (my baby) had Down syndrome or was sick. So we didn’t know until the birth that she was OK.”
Korenblit says prayer has been an integral part of her life, without which she might not have gotten through those tough times.
“Without my belief in God and my prayers, I wouldn’t figure out my best path,” she said.
Jennifer Phillips’ hope is that people who don’t typically pray through situations such as Korenblit’s will see her book as a starting point.
“I hope that there will be people who will open it up and see their lives in some way represented and say, ‘Oh, I can pray about this in my life,’” she said. “I want these to be an encouragement for people to pray in their own words.”
Sella believes the development of traditional prayers within a contemporary context is a necessary responsibility. Without taking stock of one’s methods and intentions, he says, prayer can easily become a habit, superstition or something you do for good luck.
“There’s a place for traditional prayers,” he said. “But I also think that new forms of prayer should develop with civilization and society, and even as the individual develops.
“Basically, if you’re still praying the same way you prayed when you were 5, it might be time to rethink what you’re doing when you’re praying.”
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