After nearly 40 years, woman reunited with daughter
Published: October 10, 2005
A friendly chat with a stranger at a bingo game turned into a life-changing event for Rena Moten.
That conversation in January with Mary Kernan led to Moten, of the eastern Missouri town Farmington, reuniting with the daughter she gave up nearly 40 years ago.
Each woman had played bingo many times before at the American Legion hall in Farmington.
“I had seen her before at the games and she looked like a nice lady and I guess I needed someone to talk to,” said Moten. “It was just after the holidays and I always get depressed around holidays.”
Moten’s story began in 1966 in St. Louis. She was 16, unmarried, and discovered she was pregnant. As one of 14 children, Moten knew her family couldn’t help care for the baby, so she moved to Ashland, Ky., and got a job.
Moten’s daughter was born Aug. 9, 1966. She named her Michelle Rena.
Moten tried for three months to care for the child, then made a difficult choice.
“I decided to give her up for adoption,” Moten said. “All I wanted was for her to have a good life and I couldn’t do it.
“When they took her from me, I cried and cried. I left Kentucky, then. I never saw her or heard about her. I never had another child - I never wanted to. But I have always wondered about her.”
As Kernan listened to the story, she realized she might be able to help. Kernan has dabbled in genealogy and had learned to trace family history on the Internet. She placed a query on the Kentucky Adoption Reunion Registry.
It wasn’t long before she had a response. Two babies born in the hospital that day were given up for adoption. Within days, Moten found out her daughter had been adopted at eight months of age and given the name Melissa Yvette Evans.
Kernan found a marriage license for Melissa Yvette Evans from 1988. Her search switched to the husband’s name, James Hogsten. She called several men by that name in Kentucky, but none was the right one. She posted queries on genealogy web sites.
In June, Kernan received an e-mail from Rob Cook who read the query. He was also searching for James Hogsten, a friend he said was a preacher who moved often.
On Aug. 15, James Doug Hogsten Jr. of Winthrop, Ga., contacted Kernan by e-mail to say his wife might be the woman she was looking for. They talked by phone and he confirmed his wife had been adopted.
“I asked him if she had a birth mark on her upper right leg and he said she did and that convinced us all we had the right person,” said Kernan.
Kernan couldn’t tell Moten because Moten was out of town. When she returned home two days later, she saw Kernan had called 25 times.
“I told her I had found her daughter!” said Kernan.
On Aug. 19, the phone rang and Moten answered to hear the voice of the daughter she gave up almost 40 years ago.
“I saw the number on the caller ID and picked up the phone and just cried and cried,” Moten said. “There was crying on the other end, too. When I could talk, I explained it all to her. She said she wasn’t mad. I told her, I gave her away because I loved her. I never forgot her. She said she understood.”
On Sept. 6, using a ticket given by a friend, Rena Moten stepped off an airplane in Atlanta and into the arms of her daughter. For the next two weeks, they caught up on a lifetime of memories.
Mother and daughter put together a photo album during their visit. It shows off five grandchildren, the youngest of whom call Moten “Nanny.” During the visit, Doug Hogsten baptized his newfound mother-in-law.
“My heart’s been mended,” said Moten. “I didn’t think I would ever find her and if I hadn’t told Mary my story, I never would have.”
Missy Hogsten said, “I have wonderful parents and now another wonderful mother.”
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